Blast from the Past: 20 Things I've Learned Living in the Woods

This may come as a surprise, but this is not my first time as a blogger or even my first time as a quit-your-whatever-and-go-do-something-crazy-type person. Believe it or not, I'm a serial non-conformist. Last time around, however, it was a bit different. I blogged, but I didn't show anyone. I was also doing something crazy, but that wasn't quite the same either.

I was writing in the time before extreme social networking. In the time before you could Google every person you met.  I didn't have nearly the same amount of skills or resources or know how or whatever as I do now.  I had just graduated from college and was living in the woods with three dudes. Yup. I'm serious. This is all part of my resume to become A Voluntourista. Seems relevant, doesn't it?

Anyhow, I recently stumbled across the old blog that I was writing during that time. I thought it might be interesting to resurrect it for the modern eye. I'm really not sure if that's a good idea, but I guess you all can be the judge. The following was written at the end of a 3 month stay in an uber-rich mountain town living among the woodsies (i.e. people without homes that live in woods). It was quite an experiment, to say the least
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Friday, August 31st 2007: 20 Things I've Learned Living in the Woods

Tonight is my last night in this here small town. We will be attempting to hitch hike to Denver in the morning. I will be skipping out on my job, and leaving my home in the woods. In honor of my last night in this village I wanted to compile a list of what I have learned will living in the woods. So here it is:

20 Things I've Learned Living in the Woods

1. Water is precious. There will probably be wars about it one day.
2. You don't need a gym to get in shape, just start walking your ass everywhere.
3. People will always try to help you out.
4. Be honest. It sucks to have to lie all the time.
5. Being homeless really isn't so bad, in fact it could be a choice...so quit judging people about it.
6. But being homeless is really bad when it is raining.
7. Take care of your feet.
8. Befriend your public library. The knowledge there is free.
9. Don't do coke. It will only trap you, and when you are depressed and wondering why you are trapped...it doesn't help you figure it out.
10. Pooping in the woods is gross. No one should have to be that intimate with their shit.
11. Not every sound you hear at night is a cougar or a bear or an ax murderer.
12. You don't need to shower THAT much.
13. Cigarettes make it hard to hike up a mountain.
14. Appreciate your kitchen.
15. Its way better to pee standing up.
16. Bears can smell your mac and cheese.
17. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
18. Get your sleeping schedule from the sun. You'll feel way better!
19. Drinking too much makes you sick.


And the final things that I've learned while living in the woods is...
20. Running water and electricity are sooooo overrated.

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While it was not an easy time in my life, I have to admit that many of the wisdoms I gathered as a woods dweller will be helpful as a set out on this journey. Also, I'm coming up on another two week bout of houselessness. Last time, I wasn't nearly as prepared as I could have been. I will need to harness the power of previously Vagabond Expert Amy to help the current Four Years Soft Amy as she makes her way into this wild n' crazy world.

This is where in real life I would yell something like, "Feats of strength!" or growl "bring it on!" to the nearest listener. I can be a trash talker, ya know. However, right now, I don't really have much room to talk. Oh well.

 Here's a picture of happy me in those same woods five years ago.

FEATS of STRENGTH!!!

Jungle Fever: An Adventure in Co-Ops & Raw Food

Do we remember how that Raw Food Detox Diet book was dropped off at a house where I was staying? Well, that same household has since then both joined a co-op and bought a juicer. This has been my homebase for the last week or so.

Our first victims

Now, these are not your average juicer co-op healthy eating kind of people. I believe this morning there were two "Garbage Burritos" ordered for breakfast take out. Not exactly raw, but whatever. Flip to the fresher side of things-- approximately one week post-juicer. We have juiced many tiny mountains of fruits and vegetables and have made tons of fibrous pulp food. This has to be the healthiest that this group of people has ever eaten. Its an amazing experiment.

But surprise, surprise, as I go along my merry path to better health and self, I stumble upon a volunteer component to it all. Apparently, at the People's Food Co-op in Southeast Portland, if you donate 3 hours of your time per week you get a 15% discount on your groceries.

Say what? I can do that! and it would be helpful to so many more people than just myself and the co-op. My friends could also benefit from my service through cheaper groceries.

So, of course, I chatted with one of the cashiers about the household volunteering at the co-op. She let me know how it worked. Apparently, they run 3-hour shifts where volunteers clean up, stock, do dishes, close the shop etc. Do one of these shifts each week and you get the discount on your groceries. I inquired about the possibility of high-skilled volunteer opportunities as well, which may be more fitting for some of the computer geeks in the group. This was also something the co-op was willing to accommodate.

After I spoke with the household and affiliates, it seems like we would like to volunteer in teams of two every other week to get into the swing of things. We could get to know the program better and see if we like working there. I promised to go to any volunteer shifts that people "forgot about" or couldn't make, since I have the time to do so.  I've also been charged with communicating our interest back to the co-op. I'll let you know how it goes. Cheers to fresher living.

Downsizing: Part III

For me, it’s easy to imagine a life without my stuff—unencumbered, light, free. I have slick back hair in my fantasy…and a one piece body suit. Whatever. But as I carry on my wayward, I’m finding it more and more difficult to part with the last of my collection. Each item seems to represent something outside of itself. Ya know? from that time I went that one place and so on.

Thankfully, I’ve been able to derive inspiration from one of my favorite people, Julia from Today I threw Away… She had been getting rid of five things a day for about a year, but then she took a break. But now? She’s back! Admittedly, I’m quite glad she started this project last year, when I was first thinking about this whole adventure. It made me want to acquire less stuff and scale down for the future. Counterintuitive, huh?

And so it follows, now seems like a good time for an update on the whole downsizing thing. I will once again be ‘floating,” and need to disappear for about a week. So I've organized all my stuff. It only seems fitting. 

I managed to sort everything in three piles. First, is the stuff that I will donate or “gift.” I have it sitting in the basement ready for departure:

Here’s the helpful infographic to outline the stuff that I’m leaving in the closet. There is still so much to get rid of:

Ok, maybe that’s not all that helpful. Doesn’t it seem like I have more stuff than last time? I’m not sure how that happened, but this is the honest to god last of it—blankets and all. OK fine, I still have one bike... and this stuff, that I’m taking with me:

I swear, the next time that I do one of these downsizingentries I’ll be a lean mean travelin’ machine, or maybe not. This is hard er than it looks...

PS. I had this entry ready to go last week when I began my houseless wanderings, but my transient lifestyle has made it difficult to simultaneously find electricity & internet that my 2005 DELL Inspiron can connect to--she's finicky. I'm going to need to level up my hardware if I'm ever going to become the digital nomad of my dreams. 

Introduction to Homelessness

These past five days or so, I've been..."floating." I don't really want to call it "homeless," because I feel like I have many homes in lieu of the traditional one. I don't, however, have a place that is all mine and that houses all my stuff-- now, I'm saying "stuff" like someone punched me in the stomach, stuuuuff. Oooof.

Well, I don't have one of these places. I don't  have a place that isn't occupied by the man that actually owns the the place. You see, the guy whose room I'm currently subletting is back from tour, and needs a place to rest his weary head while he is in our beautiful city of roses. Therefore, I needed to do my best to disappear.

My homeless house circa 2007

I've been houseless before. About a five years ago, I ended up in  the woods of Colorado. Its a long story, but essentially I was squatting in an abandoned miner's cabin without electricity or running water, 10,000 feet above sea level for several months after college. I even held a job in fancy hotel a mere two mile hike away.

Unfortunately, this time I wasn't quite as prepared. Here are some things I've learned during this initial bout of houselessness.

1. A portable bag of toiletries is extremely beneficial. Be sure to include shampoo.
2. If you're staying with friends, cook them dinner. And while you're at it...do the dishes,.
3. If you're sleeping in a car, make sure you go to the bathroom before you settle in.
4. If you're staying with men in their twenties remember that they may or may not have clean towels and/or toilet paper. Be self-sufficient.
5. Always carry a change of underwear. Always.

My expert traveler homeless vagabond self of several years ago would be ashamed that I hadn't already learned these lessons. However, at this point in my life, I feel no shame admitting my shortcomings and feel even more compelled to write them down, because hell, my memory could go at any moment.

Bear with me.