Introduction to Homelessness

These past five days or so, I've been..."floating." I don't really want to call it "homeless," because I feel like I have many homes in lieu of the traditional one. I don't, however, have a place that is all mine and that houses all my stuff-- now, I'm saying "stuff" like someone punched me in the stomach, stuuuuff. Oooof.

Well, I don't have one of these places. I don't  have a place that isn't occupied by the man that actually owns the the place. You see, the guy whose room I'm currently subletting is back from tour, and needs a place to rest his weary head while he is in our beautiful city of roses. Therefore, I needed to do my best to disappear.

My homeless house circa 2007

I've been houseless before. About a five years ago, I ended up in  the woods of Colorado. Its a long story, but essentially I was squatting in an abandoned miner's cabin without electricity or running water, 10,000 feet above sea level for several months after college. I even held a job in fancy hotel a mere two mile hike away.

Unfortunately, this time I wasn't quite as prepared. Here are some things I've learned during this initial bout of houselessness.

1. A portable bag of toiletries is extremely beneficial. Be sure to include shampoo.
2. If you're staying with friends, cook them dinner. And while you're at it...do the dishes,.
3. If you're sleeping in a car, make sure you go to the bathroom before you settle in.
4. If you're staying with men in their twenties remember that they may or may not have clean towels and/or toilet paper. Be self-sufficient.
5. Always carry a change of underwear. Always.

My expert traveler homeless vagabond self of several years ago would be ashamed that I hadn't already learned these lessons. However, at this point in my life, I feel no shame admitting my shortcomings and feel even more compelled to write them down, because hell, my memory could go at any moment.

Bear with me.